Awaken your inner bear.

Become one with nature with this schweet bear sleeping bag. Forget a tent, no problem broski, just wrap up in your handy dandy bear bag and watch all of natures lesser animals head for the hills.(or trees, or rocks, or shrubs, or other nearby places of cover, but you get my point.) This uber comfy and warm bag also doubles as a great kingly costume.

Actually a lion, but hey, still counts

Also makes for a great way to clear an area, need into the front of that line for tickets, use the bear. Tired of those pesky kids hanging around your lawn, use the bear. I really sugest the one arm out look, it gets the most reaction. 

For most realism, flop arm around wildly and try to hit a few people

Now you just have to work on your accompanying roar and you are well on your way to honorary bearship.

And remember, stopping childhood obesity is as easy as taking candy from a baby.

The Mantis Shrimp is your new favorite animal.

Besides looking like an underwater disco party, these bad boys are pretty amazing. See those little arms up front, no big deal right? Not right, very, very not right. Those razor sharp crushers move faster than a bullet from a standstill. They're just chilling in their little cave and some fish just swims by like "hey cool cave" and BOOM! Boiled fish. Oh did I fail to mention that moving that fast underwater causes the water to boil around the pincers? So our shrimpy killer friend totally whiffs on the first swing, no worries, his target will just instantaneously die from superheated water. Those little goofy stalk eyes, mega sweet too. They have three separate regions, meaning that each eye has better depth perception than humans, by itself, and definitely better than this guy.

Frederick Fleet, Lookout R.M.S. Titanic

Now is that enough for these little guy's crazy eyes, nope, didn't think so. Each sector is polarized, so imagine the coolest pair of shades that you can see perfectly in, those got pooped on by this fella. They can also see four times the colors we can, so not only do your glasses suck, your eyes do too. Oh another by the way, if you want one of these murderous psychotic foot long death machines in your aquarium, then tough tits Frankie,  you'll have to get reinforced glass to hold those wickedly fast foot darts, or you'll have some wet carpet my friend.

So, if no one cared about Jimmy cracking corn, who wrote the song about it? 

They see you rollin' they hatin'

Whoa there fella, this right here is riding in strait style. The women flock to this mechanical masterpiece like fish to... well fish food. Not only will you be sporting the most fly ride this side of a racing unicycle, you can totally pull the nonchalant brag "Yea, this it totally the thing they used in the Olympic Ceremonies. NBD". The best part, this chickmobile will only run you $7000, pocket change for a player like you no doubt. You can get one here.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

It's the end of the world as we know it.

Well, not exactly, it's just a blood red lake. These creepy waterspots can be found around the world. The red color is due to a bacteria that grows in oxygen deficient areas, so the red lakes are always stagnant.

So, if a builder builds, why doesn't a flyer fly?

And suddenly, Jumping Stilts

You guys see these beauties right here? This is progress. The pinnacle of human ingenuity is here, we can now strap super-powered trampoline extensions to our legs. I have some and let me tell you, the looks are priceless. You can get some here.

Why is it still called a building when they're done building it?

Starting off

Alright let's see how this goes.

Okay, welcome to Such Nift. I'm Carson and I'm basically going to dedicate this blog to the most nifty things I happen to stumble across on the internets. Also, the random thoughts of a slightly comedic plagiarist with a sleeping problem. 

So anyways, do penguins have knees?