Besides looking like an underwater disco party, these bad boys are pretty amazing. See those little arms up front, no big deal right? Not right, very, very not right. Those razor sharp crushers move faster than a bullet from a standstill. They're just chilling in their little cave and some fish just swims by like "hey cool cave" and BOOM! Boiled fish. Oh did I fail to mention that moving that fast underwater causes the water to boil around the pincers? So our shrimpy killer friend totally whiffs on the first swing, no worries, his target will just instantaneously die from superheated water. Those little goofy stalk eyes, mega sweet too. They have three separate regions, meaning that each eye has better depth perception than humans, by itself, and definitely better than this guy.
Frederick Fleet, Lookout R.M.S. Titanic
Now is that enough for these little guy's crazy eyes, nope, didn't think so. Each sector is polarized, so imagine the coolest pair of shades that you can see perfectly in, those got pooped on by this fella. They can also see four times the colors we can, so not only do your glasses suck, your eyes do too. Oh another by the way, if you want one of these murderous psychotic foot long death machines in your aquarium, then tough tits Frankie, you'll have to get reinforced glass to hold those wickedly fast foot darts, or you'll have some wet carpet my friend.
So, if no one cared about Jimmy cracking corn, who wrote the song about it?
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